Who are you, more importantly, who am I?

So confused about myself nowadays, life is like roller coaster,  but too bad I'm always in the bad situation, 
when I thought miracle might happens, it will never happen to me.
Who are you to me? Stranger? Passersby?  Friends?  Bestie? Lover?
All I ever want is you but it will never happen again.
When I thought I'm walking out of this shadow of you, in fact, I'm actually circling around in the shadow and walk in even deeper,
Every single memory haunt me every day and night.
The only thing I can do is pretend nothing happen and fake my expression.
At first, beer can help me to control and slowly I'm addicted to it and in the end banned by my besties.
So, who are you now?
In my brain, in my life?
Why am I still keeping my promises towards you but not moving on?
Why can't I do that?
If life can retake, I really don't want to live a life.
All these suffer and joy, I can't take it anymore.
How only you will let me go or let me fit?
Who am I? I don't know myself anymore.
Thanks to a best friend that always accompany me and cheer me up, I still barely live my life.
The main key is still with you.
Are you going to hide it forever like you are doing it now?
Or unlock the lock in my heart to set me free?
May God guide you and pray for your safe journey in Melbourne or anywhere
And I miss you as soon as I hear you.
"Once yours, always belongs to you"
I will always keep my promises, at least this one.