love or hate?

well, to love or to hate, i only have a chance to choose between one of these.
once i love you and then i hate you,
life change so much after i love you, it become like a dream,
but life also change after you left, it made my hatred grow
once i believe that everything is possible if i love,
family, carrier, studies, marriage, and most important of all "life"
but the more i love, it just lead me to being dumped by you and left aside
so what exactly is love? or hate is actually more suitable for me?
fear and anger helps to avoid people coming close to me
at least by that i will never get hurt like you did to me?
my trust towards anyone had gone after you left
i mean, " why trust anyone when you know he or she is gonna betray you someday?"
well, at least i know you did
it is a hard decision to make, to live on through love or hate
i maybe born this way but to live on i must choose between one of these
feel sorry for her, but not you,
now you are having your life perfectly like nobody else care,
facing only common problem because i'm gone like forever,
but her, she is having problem worst than you, but still she cared for me.
i might be a piece of junk in this world, but at least this might be something i worth for
in the end, i might be alone to love or to hate,
but all still depends on my birthday that is coming soon.